break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
