"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
