Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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