i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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