Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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