When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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