now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
