nut hugger
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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