Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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