she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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