I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
