Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
