dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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