I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
