Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
