i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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