your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize