She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
