Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
