Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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