Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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