She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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