The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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