i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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