DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
