i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize