Buhtt sex?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
