I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize