Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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