For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
