He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize