Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
