Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
