So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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