The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
