We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
