Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish my penis had a tongue
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
