If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize