I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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