how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
