I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
