She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
