I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
