first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
