my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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