On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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