the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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