Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
