forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
