Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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