I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize