I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
this just has baby written all over it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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