I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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