I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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