Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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