I hope mine doesn't look like that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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