my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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