i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
