I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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