you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
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Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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