sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize