His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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