Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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