Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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