I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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